Posted in Uncategorized on January 27, 2010| Leave a Comment »
Another day in my life gone by. I seem to be noticing the days being wasted and going by fast. Not sure if it’s a Bipolar thing or my being forty three and possibly hitting Perimenopause. I just can’t seem to focus for long periods on one thing. I’m getting no exercise these days. I was doing 6 miles a week until a couple weeks ago. My life is in some kind of limbo.
Freedom889- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone ™ © ®Freedom
Posted in Freedom889 on January 11, 2010| Leave a Comment »
Been a few days since I wrote in this blog. Before I get back to where I left off, I just went to my new Psyc Doc today. She seems to be nice. I must have seemed a real mess today. Thoughts a bit scattered as I try to figure out why my body is acting up. Missed my period by 10 days, first time since my pregnancy 20 years ago. Night sweats two weeks ago. Body feeling like its time to start but nothing . Anyway, thats where I am at right now. My head has been killing me for three days now, but I will do my best to post as I can here. My apologies in advance if days lapse between postings. I could have done with out my daughters less than humorous video yesterday. Nothing I care to explain on line, just a mother’s shock, disappointment & embarrassment.
**** Not sure where I left off, somewhere around the time my grandmother died. I’d like to skip that for a moment and reflect on my appointment at my Psyc. Doc today. She asked the standard history questions. For some reason when she asked about any prior abuse I was rendered speechless. That is a subject I could write volumes on about myself, and yet I paused and even stuttered a bit. My mind went blank, than suddenly it rushed out. The look on her face as I listed a few incidents in my childhood, made me realize that I had suffered things no child should, and that I block them well. I rattled them off like they were nothing, and they have been nothing all my life, but have they really? How much of these horrors weaved they’re way into my life silently over the years? Affecting who I am and how I think and feel about things? I believe I blocked these things because thats the only way my mind could survive it all. I have seen & experienced too many things in my life. Many that I am not proud of but have molded me to be a christian minded person. I look forward to my next apt. I hope that this new Doctor can help me get stable again and to get my life in my control and not THE BEASTS. She did ask me what Bipolar is for me. I told her I am a prisoner of my mind or THE BEAST as I call it. Although i fight hard against it, and I win most of the time, There is still that element of THE BEAST that still has its grip on me. The grip that keeps me from working outside my home. From pursuing a career and using this brain I so love to use for things that will benefit others. This blog is one way I am fighting THE BEAST back. As long as I have breathe in my lungs i will speak, write and share my story in hopes that even one person can benefit from it in someway. If it keeps one person from being a prisoner to THE BEAST than I have won my battle, and I will continue to win….Until next time…Freedom889..
Posted in Freedom889 on January 5, 2010| Leave a Comment »
I am trying to start a website of my own for this Blog. As soon as I figure it out I will post the info here…
Posted in Freedom889 on January 5, 2010| Leave a Comment »
Hello to any of you that have been reading my blog. Please bear with me as I try to understand and figure out how to properly write this blog as well as the lay outs. I am trying to make paragraphs and breaks (where the stars are) but it keeps running all together. If anyone has any input on this feel free to share. I apologize in advance if the reading is difficult due to the length and my lack of knowledge on how to break up paragraphs on a blog. I ordered a blogging book today so hopefully that will help me…LOL!
**** I will be making a face book page for my blog for anyone that cares to join. I will post it sometime today…PEACE!
Freedom889
Posted in Freedom889 on January 3, 2010| Leave a Comment »
GENERAL POSTING:
Welcome to a new year. I have been away for the holidays and will be back posting Monday Jan 4th,2010 for any that may be following my blog. I found a great site for anyone with a mental illness or anyone that knows someone with one. Heading there to share my story. Check it out …
My journey with THE BEAST...Bipolar Disorder 